I actually tricked one of my best friends into writing the majority of this blog for me. We were discussing the topic and she emailed me her experiences. She was kind enough to let me repost her email because she touches on the points I wanted to bring up. Looking forward to any readers input. This is also for all the femmes and girls of all labels that are attracted to butches and studs. Butch conversation, I am just going to give you my history from a rural experience with these labels and how I view them from my femme perspective. In looking at the pictures of the past and meeting various women, I found most were comfortable falling into one of these two categories and it was almost expected. Any couple who did not fit into these roles were looked upon with discomfort in the lesbian community, and in some cases being isolated out. When two butches got together, it was a lot of uncomfortable silence.
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Last updated These sites are here to help them out. Ah, the age-old question faced by queer women everywhere at some point in time: Gender roles are a hard thing to break. And some of those gender roles are just as firmly in place in LGBT relationships as they are in heterosexual culture. Many same-sex relationships between women fall somewhere along the butch-femme spectrum, where one partner takes on the more traditionally masculine presentation and role.
Jan 11, · ah, so hard for me to find a firm girl around my area. I’m in college in Jacksonville for graphics design, and I like the strong types^_^ I’m soft butch myself, but femme sometimes.I’m very romantic and creative.
Some people take offence to the word dyke, some people apply the work only to butch types, some don’t take offence and embrace the word reguarless off whatever. Butch is generally more masculine in her appearnce, and she may or may not have masculine interests, and may or may not be the more dominent partner in the relationship. Stud generally refers to an afican american butch, but I think now it’s becomming a label that alotta younger butches prefer. There’s also different flavors of dyke, butch, stud, femme, etc.
There are soooo many ways lesbians identify. For example you have your baby dykes, soft butches, your old school butches, your stone butches, and you have your queer femmes, stone femmes I think the labels are can be broad generizations at a glance, but they’re really more then that.
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One of my friends thought she had to be a femme when she first came out the closet, only to discover that even though she was in a lesbian relationship she still did not feel comfortable. Yup, I made that one up and I am going to wear it out…lol Another friend recently came out after a 20 plus years married to a man. They have been around for a long time. I gathered as many labels as I could and put them together here in hopes that it can help.
I skipped a lot of them I thought would only confuse people. Words in parenthesis are just the categories the words apply to. Universally known as Unisex. When she is with a woman, she is with her, and fits totally into the gay world with no problems. When she is with a man, she fits totally into the straight world, and totally loves him. She is not really confused, she just falls in love with a person and not a gender. She usually prefers sex with women, but some can enjoy both equally.
Sexually she is usually aggressive in bed.
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Lesbian labels span a wide spectrum. At the far-masculine end, we have the butch lesbians: The ones who look and act like men.
I’ve tried several dating sites and apps and I swear the same people are listed on every one of them. I really can’t understand why we don’t have a larger presence on the internet as a whole.
That would be, studs and femmes. However, many lesbians choose to stay somewhere in the middle area — I like to call that stem territory. Stems and no-labels happen to fit the bill perfectly in this regard. Here are my top 10 reasons why dating a stem is something everyone should experience in their lives! They look great in anything.
Stems can rock basketball shorts and a baggy t-shirt one day, and the next day they could step out in an evening gown and some heels.
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Mar 19, · Now, I still find other femmes to be beautiful and we can be beneficial friends but I don’t think I could go back to dating femmes. Ever. There’s just something about the stud/femme dynamic in a relationship that just works for me.
A lesbian who is between the ages of high school graduation and drinking age. A lesbian that strongly resembles Justin Bieber. Specifically, they have a similar haircut as the young pop star. Biebians have become overwhelmingly numerous within the last couple of years. A female who is straight but sexually curious about other females. A lesbian who is more masculine than a stemme but more feminine than a stud.
The polar opposite of a femme. Butches often require a double-take to determine whether they are male or female. They harbor primarily masculine characteristics. A group of lesbians who have sex and date one another. A lesbian who secretly enjoys sexual relationships with men. This is a general gay term. A lesbian that has solely female characteristics. A lesbian who has never slept with a man.